One of my most memorable executive development coaching engagements came to its conclusion with a comment I have never forgotten. After months of working together, my client reflected on his experience and said, “This process forced me to look in the mirror and decide what kind of person I wanted to be.”
At the time, I appreciated the comment, but I do not think I fully understood it. Like many coaches, I was focused on the visible outcomes of our work. He became more confident. He delegated more effectively and built stronger relationships with his team.
Looking back, I realize those changes were the result of something much deeper; before his leadership effectiveness changed, his understanding of himself changed.
As I have continued to reflect on his words, what strikes me most is not what he said, but what he did not say. He did not say, “What kind of leader I wanted to be.” He said, “What kind of person.” He was talking about his entire identity.
For quite some time, I have described executive development as identity work. The phrase felt right, but recently I realized I had never stopped to explain what I meant.
This realization came while working through yet another level of coaching certification. At this point, I have accepted that I am a lifelong learner. Every certification seems to raise my awareness in some new way. This one has been not only about learning new coaching techniques, but also about examining the assumptions I bring to coaching itself. It has caused me to reflect not only on how I coach, but on why coaching works in the first place. Throughout the certification training, I kept hearing the same question in the back of my mind: “If you are going to call this identity work, what does that really mean?”
That seemed like a fair question. In the coaching profession, we often say, “Coach the person, not the problem.”
When people first hear this phrase, they sometimes assume it means the problem is unimportant. It does not. Clients come to coaching because they are trying to solve very real problems. They want to communicate more effectively, become more strategic, manage conflict with greater confidence, or prepare for a larger leadership role. Those are legitimate goals.
Experienced coaches, however, recognize that two leaders can face exactly the same challenge and respond very differently—not because one possesses better technical skills, but because they are different people and they see themselves differently. That difference matters.
As a coach, I am not there to solve my client’s problems or tell them what they should do. My role is to serve as a thinking partner, helping them examine the situation from new perspectives so they can discover solutions that are authentically their own. This realization leads me back to the question of identity work.
Rather than invent my own definition, I looked to the coaching and organizational psychology literature. Identity work is generally described as the ongoing process of examining, strengthening, repairing, and sometimes revising our understanding of who we are.
I find this definition reassuring. Identity work is not about pretending to be someone else. It is not about creating a false persona or projecting confidence that does not exist. It is about becoming more intentional about the person we are choosing to become. And you may notice that this definition goes beyond one person’s role as “a leader.”
And this is why I believe executive development is identity work.
Becoming an executive is not simply a matter of learning new skills. It requires us to reconsider long-held assumptions about ourselves.
- Am I the expert with all the answers, or am I someone who develops the people around me?
- Is my value found in solving problems, or in creating an environment where others solve them together?
- Am I measured by what I accomplish personally, or by what my organization becomes because I was here?
These are not behavioral questions; they are identity questions. And these questions are difficult to confront because the identity that brought you this far has probably served you well. Most executives are promoted because they were exceptional individual contributors, technical experts, or operational leaders. The beliefs that helped them succeed in one role can quietly limit their effectiveness in the next.
Identity work asks you to appreciate the person who brought you this far while recognizing that the next chapter may require you to become someone different. Looking back, I think my client understood that before I did. He was not describing a leadership technique or a communication strategy. He was describing the moment he decided who he wanted to become.
Looking in the mirror was not about judging himself. It was about accepting responsibility for becoming the person his new role needed him to be. And that, I now believe, is the real work of executive development.
Training provides new knowledge, experience builds confidence, and coaching raises awareness. But lasting executive development happens when leaders begin to see themselves—and the world around them—in a new way.
That is why executive development is identity work.